Other people perceptions

It's really easy for people to pass judgement. They don't know what each and every day entails. If I told them they would think all I want is sympathy. Either that or I wanted to be the friend that we all have, with the life that is worse than everyone else's.
That's not me.
I sit in semi-silence. I complain enough that people know things aren't well, but not clear enough or loud enough for them to know just how bad.
Maybe this is where I started to screw up. I don't flaunt my issues. I tend to hide them. I don't call my friends. I don't write them e-mails.
I really don't want to be THAT friend.
Now it seems I've lost them.
Maybe they perceive that everything is ok and I'm just cutting people out because I can.
Maybe they perceive that things are that bad I don't want anyone.
Who knows.
I just don't know who my friends are anymore.
I don't even know if I have any left at all.