Another day...

I can't be the only one....

There are days where I just wish I could walk away from it all. Days where I wish I could hand over my son to the dead beat sperm donor who calls himself a father.
I look at Chris, and know that doing that would destroy him.
There are days when it feels like being a single mom is destroying me. Little by little.
Money is always a factor in any life. Being a single parent just multiplies that factor. It is them grossly multiplied if you do NOT receive financial support.
It is now just over two years since my ex has lost his job. He has told me that his unemployment has run out. He has told me that there are simply no jobs available where he lives.
I have gone so far as to send him information from my own friends & colleagues regarding jobs in his area.
So I continue to go without any assistance from him.
I have left it all in the hands of the great states of New York & Texas to handle this. With absolutely no surprise, I am now on my 5th "we were told they are verifying employment, and now we wait 3-4 months for a response from Texas" from NY.
The arrears for my case continues to grow. It is now becoming a nice sum of money that myself or my son will never ever see.
I have continued to get financial assistance from a private source, putting them in a bind as well.
I keep hoping I can do something so I can repay the generosity..

But I went off on the financial tangent again.

This just happens to be my biggest thorn. I think if I wasn't so stressed all the time, my wonderful, adoring son would have never come up with my newest nickname "cranky pants". Gotta love the mind of a five year old.
Gets even better when he tries so hard to make me laugh and then tells me that he doesn't want me to be in a bad mood.
He really puts himself out there some days.
That's when I know we would both be completely devastated if he wasn't with me. He also wouldn't be the affectionate caring, loving soul he is if he lived with that man.

Well, affectionate, caring & loving until he fires me again....

Just another vent session. My apologies to those that I'm boring.
Have a great night....