Boy issues.....

Sometimes the biggest concern when people hear that I am the single mom of a boy is who will be his male "Role Model".  I am a firm believer that I can be that. 
Thankfully I have been raised by an AMAZING Father, and have three sometimes nice brothers.
I think I can handle the boy stuff. Except one thing.....

PEEING.....

He's got the standing up thing down pat, but the can't aim.  He also believes he needs to wipe himself dry, and usually its with MY TOWEL

Now, I can only tell him every time he pees that what is doing isn't necessary.....

So this is the dilemma...  I can't really show him what to do, I can tell him and mimic what should be done, but then it just becomes a joke.

When we go to my parents house, I ask my father to help.  Now, my father is a semi-old-fashioned man, 74 years old...  he raised his 4 kids and he really doesn't need to do this.
He helps anytime Chris goes to the bathroom to show him what to do. 
I have one male friend (more like another brother)  who has offered to let Chris go in the bathroom with him so he can see what to do .
Another friend would take Chris to the bathroom with him and help him there.


I do find the whole situation pretty funny.  A little story.
My three brothers, 11 & 9 years older and 2 years younger than me. 
So when I was starting to potty train...  I was surrounded by boys.  I would sneak in the bathroom and watch my brothers.  I was very curious about boys...  (I think that explains a lot in itself) BUT....
I actually had tried to straddle the toilet bowl and pee standing up..   just like the boys do it.
If they can, why couldn't I????


Just my thought for the day.....
I figure I'm always bitching about something,,,  may as well share something cute...

Politics & Child Support

This has been a HUGE discussion with some of the single moms in my circle.  There are three of us in a closer circle at work.  Of the three of us, two can not get child support from the sperm donors. One of the two of us, can not even locate the male. I actually gave all of the offices involved his address, multiple phone numbers etc.
Now of the three of us, we each of several other friends that have the same problem.  If the total amount in arrears was added up for all of these deadbeat fathers, it would total close to $500,000. 
Again, just in my circle of friends.

What can be done?

Well, the state tells us the procedures to follow.  If they don't work, you file for enforcement.  Chose between jail time or a slap on the wrist.  Difficult decision.  Which one will actually help you get the money you need to help raise your child?

What if they move to another state?  Then you have to go to the states law offices, file a transfer, and hope that there aren't issues.  Just be prepared to wait 3 months for each action to take place. 
Example - Request to transfer was sent in January.  Cant call Texas for three months to verify its been received. Then you cant check for another three months to verify that they have located the person and verified employment.  (yes, this is what I was told after I gave them all of his information)
Apparently, In my case, its taken over two years to transfer this case and find this person and  verify his lack of employment (which I actually figured would be easy since he has been collecting unemployment for over a year). 

 

Where can we go?

Who else can we push? 

I think this has been made my new goal. 

These laws and the government entities that create them say they want to help the custodial parents. I don't see how.  All of the loop holes and grey areas, just make it easier for the non custodial parents to just disappear.  Fall off the radar and take NO responsibility for their children.
While the real parents, those of us with custody, have to become magicians.  Magically making money appear, and get bills paid, and our children clothed and fed.  AND more often than not, we cant even get financial assistance from the state.

There has to be something to say and someone who can listen.  Somewhere to be able to stand up for us.

I HATE having my hands tied like this.  I am not the kind of person to just sit and wait for things to happen.  I was raised to push for what I believed was right and to fight against what I knew to be wrong.

I will pass on anything that I find out.

Again, I'm not really sure anyone really reads my rantings, but if you do...  and maybe have some input, let me know.  Share with me. 
There are so many of us who need help....  and if the government can't or won't help, we need to help each other.